


Desiderium

by knightinsourarmor



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon Compliant, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Gen, Haircuts, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Post-Time Skip, referenced Dimitri/Marianne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-07-27 00:17:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20036617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightinsourarmor/pseuds/knightinsourarmor
Summary: Byleth gives Dimitri a haircut. It's a simple task but, like everything, there are deeper feelings to the actions.





	Desiderium

**Author's Note:**

> Fire Emblem: Three Houses burned down my house and stole all my money but I love it. Dimitri is a ball of angst and trauma and I want the world for him but I also want to write about it. This is a non-canonical scene but I still love the idea of Byleth doing this for him after he comes out of his revenge-filled state. After all haircuts are symbolic of letting go of something and moving on. 
> 
> Also platonic Byleth & Dimitri is good!

"Dimitri...... "

_"Dimitri."_

The hour was late. It was hard to say how late it was exactly considering that the room he had hold himself in was heavily curtained. The lights from the candles were the only things that kept the darkness at bay. Dimitri should be asleep by now. All that rage, all that anger, the drive to murder Edelgard and get his revenge; When he finally pulled back from it he could feel how exhausted he truly was. It was only through sheer rage and obsessive thoughts that he hadn't collapsed years ago. Now that he was trying to focus on other things and change, sleep constantly pulled at the edges of his mind. There was work to be done, so much work, and so Dimitri continued to ignore it. Once the war was over and peace was restored. Once that happened he could finally rest. 

"Prince Dimitri."

"Prince Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd."

Dimitri wondered if maybe he should just stop for the night. All this paperwork would still be here to finish once he awoke. They couldn't head out just yet anyways. It was probably for the better to keep working. Even though they had reclaimed Fhiridiad, not everyone was comfortable being around him just yet. Dimitri couldn't blame them. He couldn't blame them if they never wanted to come near him. He had been a monster, worse than a monster, but he was going to change that. He'd do his best to atone for everything he had done. Part of that was this work. 

_"Your Highness."_

How long had she been there trying to get his attention? Dimitri blinked in surprised when a hand brought his face up and his blue eye met her green ones. Byleth looked worried but when they locked eyes, her features softened. Once Byleth had his attention, she let go of his chin. For a moment, Dimitri wished she hadn't, but he didn't say anything. She was quiet, studying his face, still bent forward towards him. Dimitri wondered if perhaps she was a hallucination brought on by a lack of sleep and if he should rest, but Byleth spoke before he could really consider the thought. He was still haunted after all. 

"Dimitri. You shouldn't be up." Her words were strict if quiet. Despite the years it had been since they were at the academy there was this air that Byleth still carried. Like she'd had grown into the persona of being a teacher and now that she was no longer, she wasn't sure what to do with it. Dimitri was glad that she hadn't lost it. She had been a great professor after all. "Surely this can all wait until another time?"

"I know, I know. It's just it's hard to stop once I begin."

"Yes. I am aware of that."

Her words spoke of more than just his inability to stop working and go to bed, but she didn't keep going. How lucky had he had been to end up with someone like Byleth by his side? She had been there through it all, wanting to help him, wanting to see him get better. Even after he had threatened her, she hadn't given up on him. He could never pay her back for all that she had done and Dimitri knew she'd never even consider that she had to be. She cared for him and he was thankful for that. He cared for Byleth as well. She was one of his dearest friends. Which was why she was here now, he imagined. To force him to bed like a good friend should. 

"If you're unable to sleep I have something in mind. I've noticed that your hair has become quite the mess."

His hair? Currently it was haphazardly pulled back to keep it from spilling into his face. He already had an eyepatch. If his hair fell into his other eye, he'd just be blind. 

"Dimitri. Did you take care of yourself at all?"

Byleth's voice was so quiet. Did she always speak like this? She moved forward again, pulling his hair out of his ponytail without even asking, but Dimitri wouldn't have stopped her anyways. He sat there as she ran her fingers through it, trying to smooth out the mess it had become over the day. 

"You know the answer to that."

Byleth frowned, pulling back once more. This time she started to dig into her coat. After a moment she brought forth a hairbrush and a pair of scissors. Dimitri flinched for a moment at the sight of the blade, but relaxed once he realized what she had actually come here for. There was no way she had carried those both around just in case. 

"Byleth, I-"

"Dimitri. You need to cut your hair. It's getting ridiculous. You can't tell me it's not getting in your face all the time." 

There it was again. The firm, strict tone. When she was gone, when he was all alone, he could heard it in his head. How she would chide him for what he was doing. It hadn't helped back then, but now there was something to the familiar tone that made him feel at peace. She really was here with him, wasn't she? This wasn't some fever dream before he finally perished. Dimitri sighed, knowing it was better just to give in. He _really_ did need a haircut. It was just he hadn't really thought of it. Even after coming back to his senses, his mind had been focusing on the tasks that needed to get done. On the war they had to fight. Taking care of himself, outside of things like basic hygiene, had fallen to the wayside. 

Yet here Byleth was in the middle of the night offering to take care of it for him.

"Did you actually come here to force me to go to bed or to cut my hair?"

Byleth shrugged. "Whichever seems more likely to happen."

"It's the middle of the night."

"I can see well enough not to cut you or mess it up. I promise I know what I'm doing. My father learned how to cut my hair and I learned from him. I can't do anything fancy but I can cut it so it's not in your hair and looking all shaggy. Besides... a King shouldn't look like he lived in the woods for years."

"It wasn't the woods," Dimitri muttered, but he had given up this fight long before it really started. He nodded at Byleth who moved around him. She ran her fingers through his hair, smoothing out the places where it had gotten messed up. She brought the brush through it, checking for knots, she told him. Dimitri didn't really know anything about hair cutting. He had once worked hard to keep his hair neat and presentable, but that was years ago. Once he ascended the throne he'd have to work on keeping himself looking presentable again. Perhaps he'll hire Byleth to be his hair stylist.

Dimitri laughed at the ridiculous thought. Byleth hummed softly. "Did I tickle you by accident?" Her tone was curious and he figured that would be something that interested her. That Dimitri was secretly ticklish. 

"No. I was just thinking something funny."

"I didn't know you were still capable of having a sense of humor. I'm glad that it hadn't disappeared." 

Really. She didn't have to tease him like that. It was nice, though. There was something about Byleth brushing his hair, rhythmic and soothing, and the light conversation that made him want to cry. He had been so lonely all those years. So isolated. He had become a shell of himself in his thirst for revenge. Everything else that he was, that he wanted. It had been buried. He, too, was glad that the part of himself that wasn't traumatized, wasn't trapped in a never ending cycle of death and guilt, still existed. He wanted to tell Byleth that it was her. She helped keep that part of him alive. Helped to revive him in ways he never thought would return. How he wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for her. For her and Rodrigue and the others. He wanted to thank her for staying by his side through the darkest times for him, but his tongue wouldn't move. The words were far too heavy and in the quiet stillness of the room, he knew that they could shatter it all. Tears threatened to flow already and Dimitri was tired of it. As the voices softly whispered to him, as his mind went back to what he had done. He didn't want to ruin tonight with that kind of talk. 

Byleth knew. She knew what he wanted to say. The words he couldn't bring himself to form. He didn't have to tell her anything because she was already aware of it all. She had come here, fought by his side, fought to bring him back into the light because she knew that deep down he wasn't a monster. He didn't want to live like that anymore. And she's stay because she knew that he would work to atone for his crimes. To bring the Kingdom into a new era that would be filled with happiness and peace. 

He loved her. She loved him too. Not in the way that others might think. Dimitri was aware of rumors that circulated. Some of them from the others who knew them well. Dimitri knew that they had once been oddly close and even now they still were. But Dimitri had no romantic feelings for Byleth. He loved her in a way that was wholly platonic. She was his best friend and he couldn't imagine a life without her there, an ever steady presence. Besides, he knew that she had budding romantic feelings for others and he wanted to see her happy. 

The sound of the brush being laid onto his desk broke Dimitri from his thoughts. Now the cool touch of Byleth's hands on the back of his neck, bringing up the ends of his hairs made him aware he had been spacing out. Byleth hadn't really spoken since she started and he had no way of knowing her expression as she stood behind him. 

He watched as the scissors were taken and after a few moments the sound and sensation of hair being cut. He really should be worried if Byleth could actually cut his hair without messing it up, but he trusted her. Surely someone like her couldn't make too much of a disaster? 

"Dimitri." Byleth had moved to his side, working towards the front of his head now. She was standing on his left side, the one with the eyepatch, so he could only barely see her at the moment. She seemed focused on the task at hand. "Can I ask... how did you get the eyepatch?" Her voice was hesitant, like she wasn't sure if she should really ask. Dimitri nearly touched the eyepatch but kept his hands where they were. When he didn't speak, Byleth spoke again. "You don't have to tell me if you can't Dimitri. If it's too painful."

"No it's not like it was some big moment for me. I lost it fighting my way out of Fhirdiad. It was mostly a blur during my escape. I can't remember the exact details of what happened. I just remember once I was free and safe, for the time being, I realized I could no longer see out of my left eye. I have gone accustomed to the lost of sight, although at the time it pained me to be down one. I refused to let such a thing stop me. I would kill Edelgard blind, deaf, mute, without a limb or more. It is a pain still, but after five years I'm used to it."

"It looks good. I thought the eyepatch completed the Wild King look for you."

"Professor...."

Byleth chuckled as they moved backwards, back towards the back of his head. It wasn't intentional. None of the way he looked outside of his cloak. He had mainly had the fur to keep himself warm. When he put it all together there was a certain type of look he had acquired, but Dimitri hadn't really put any thought into it. Soon enough he'd put all that behind him. He heard something mention custom eyepatches. Not something he had considered until recently.

"Perhaps we should talk about something lighter? I saw you talking with Marianne in the library the other day. I am glad you seem to be happy spending time with her."

Dimitri wasn't expecting this sudden shift in topic. He was glad that Byleth was behind him again as it prevented her from seeing the blush creep up on his face. Not that she probably wasn't aware. She was enjoying herself teasing him tonight wasn't she? He felt like she had intentionally trapped him in this chair just so she could get it all out. How long had his old professor spent wishing she could joke around with him that she was unleashing it upon him now? 

"It isn't like that."

"Oh? Are you sure? I'm pretty sure I saw you smile when you made her laugh. There is no need to be shy Dimitri. She's become a beautiful and wonderful woman. You are allowed to be happy too."

Dimitri wanted to say something, to counter with his own observations but he felt like he wouldn't be able to effect her the same way. She wasn't wrong. Marianne had become quite lovely and she wasn't so down on herself all the time either. The years had been kinder to her. He was surprised that she'd give someone like him attention, even if he was going to be King. He remembered their conversations from back at the academy. They were alike in several ways. Now that he was going to take over as King, well, he supposed thinking about courting someone and marriage were to be expected. But he did like Marianne outside of that too. 

"Please go easy on your former student Professor. I don't think I can handle so much ribbing." There was something to his thoughts though, now that he thought of them. "Speaking of such, you haven't seemed to age since I last saw you. What happened after you disappeared?"

This time it was Byleth's turn to fall silent. Had he said the wrong thing? He could feel her hands tense in his hair, but after a moment, she continued to cut it. She still hadn't said anything and Dimitri nearly echoed her earlier words that she didn't have to tell him but she spoke before he could.

"I don't know. It might be a similar case to your own. After I fell off that cliff, I was out of it. I only remember waking back up years later. Perhaps I had been asleep all that time."

Dimitri wasn't sure what to think about that. It wasn't as if people slipping into comas was unheard of. It was just those who slept for years often died because they could not get the required amount of nourishment. If Byleth had been asleep for five years, she wouldn't have been strong enough to walk up to the monastery or join him in the fight against those bandits. He did not want to call her a liar and didn't believe she was. It was possible she had blocked them out the memories of what happened or someone had taken care of her. Perhaps it was better left unknown for now. Byleth was never exactly normal. Who knew what could have occurred. 

"I think I am done. You look much better Dimitri."

Dimitri lifted a hand finally, running it through his hair. It barely fell against his face anymore and the rest came to just above his chin. Not too short, but better than what it had been. Byleth moved to the front of him, smiling once more. She seemed to study him once again, looking over her work. Then she stifled a yawn. It had to have been at least thirty minutes or more. Soon the sun would rise and rest would once again escape him. Byleth seemed to think the same thing.

"I should return to bed. You too should get some sleep. Do not make me drag you to your room and tie you to your bed. You can't save Fodlan or stop Edelgard if you collapse." 

Byleth turned to leave, but Dimitri had stood and reached out, fingers encircling her wrist. She stopped, turning back to him and for a moment, Dimitri wasn't sure why he had done it. Then a smile of his own crept onto his face and he said in a quiet voice. 

"Thank you Byleth. For... everything. I-"

Byleth raised a hand. To stop his words from spilling out. There would be time, her gaze told him, to say such words. For now, it was time to rest. Still, as they both left the room, Byleth spoke one more word. 

"Always." 


End file.
